From Friday’s Guardian Review, “Tom Reynolds, author of I Hate Myself and Want to Die: The 52 Most Depressing Songs You’ve Ever Heard… offers his top 25 miserable tracks.” A classic list, including such ghastly dirges as Tell Laura I Love Her and Seasons in the Sun, as well as Bobby Goldsboro’s excruciating Honey:
The world’s wordiest dead wife song, Honey is jammed full of blooming flowers, puffy clouds, singing robins, planted trees, and a puppy, all of which just make you want to swallow a hand grenade. The narrator mourns Honey, his deceased spouse, while condescendingly describing her as kinda dumb and kinda smart. If you feel inclined to listen to Honey, please drink heavily and then bale out after Honey dents the car. Otherwise, you’ll get hit with angels carrying Honey away and clouds crying on flower beds. You won’t make it out with your senses intact. It is that bad.
(Via When Last We Left Our Intrepid Heroine… in Iraq.)